What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

aodhan hearty

Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

don't just stand there

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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