Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops