I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops