A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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why was the tolit stoped up. because it had phoo

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops