What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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I love you

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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i committed murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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