Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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