Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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neil likes pube toast

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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