In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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you see theres this guy.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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What did death say to life? Go die

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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