What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse than school...wait a minute?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two Naked men jump off a cliff. Three months later, an entire pack of Cub Scouts were enrolled in group therapy. It's ongoing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops