Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

thumb_up thumb_down

How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

thumb_up thumb_down

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

thumb_up thumb_down

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

thumb_up thumb_down

Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops