Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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Inbreeding is no laughing matter but damn is it funny.

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A man walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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