Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

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what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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There are a black guy and a Mexican in a car, who`s driving? The cops

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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