Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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SBB

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once you go black your credit goes wack

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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