What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

Ben Affleck

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

anti jokes are really funny

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

Can midgets still have big dreams?

what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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