Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops