Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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batman has diarrhea

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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