What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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Tall asians

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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