You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Jellybeans

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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