You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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