I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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The Morman Religion.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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