Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops