every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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