What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Dude man, I'm high...

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops