Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -4

fish fishy caoimhin

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I had a lemon. hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops