An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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24

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Matthew Baker

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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