If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

thumb_up thumb_down

Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

thumb_up thumb_down

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down

Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

thumb_up thumb_down

A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

thumb_up thumb_down

Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

thumb_up thumb_down

AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops