This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops