Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

Maths.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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