A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Women's rights

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

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What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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