What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

knock knock

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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