How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Asian women drivers...

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops