What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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your mum

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Equal rights!

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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