How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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