A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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why was the tolit stoped up. because it had phoo

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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