What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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