Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

Bob Saget

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

Your wife died during the delivery.

how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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