You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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I had a submarine.... once

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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João Duarte reads this.

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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