What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Continents are large islands.

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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