When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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Loperson

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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In soviet russia, 6 is not afraid of 7

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DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

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My Butthole.

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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Once upon a time a was born

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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