How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

thumb_up thumb_down -41

how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

#IsaiahAfterAD&B

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Sometimes i'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what is yellow and burns? -a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops