hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

NASCAR

why did the white guy go to a black mans yard sale? to get his stuff back

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday just dance 3

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

A Mormon walks into a bar.

Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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