Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Women's rights

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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