a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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A sober Amy Winehouse

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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Yo mama so fat.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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