what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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