"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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