Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Ms Leong Sux

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops