What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

thumb_up thumb_down -20

CAS

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops