Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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