Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

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what did the robot say to the black guy? I'LL BE BACK

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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