What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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. . I am a whale

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What is black and looks like a person A black person

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops