women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops