why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops