Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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knock,knock you suck

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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