Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

thumb_up thumb_down -3

List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

European on my shoes, buddy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops