What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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learn. advance!

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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i hate black people

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Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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What is the difference between a duck? one of its legs is both the same.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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