I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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